“How Great Thou Art” emerged from his robust chest, filling the sanctuary. My eyes welled as the bellowing voice rose to the rafters. The words clearly resonating deep within his own soul.
After a year of watching the man in his late-40’s at a distance – him singing up on the altar while mere mortal me was in the pew – we landed randomly in a Bible study with he and his young wife. They just had a child.
Within an hour, I learned this was his second marriage. The first ended a few years earlier and his wife took everything, including the hearts of his three children. The marriage was bad for years, him living in the basement, until they finally called it quits. There was no physical nor substance abuse but he fully admitted to unfortunate behavior, poor decisions, and understood why his young adult kids were estranged.
Hitting rock bottom in a multitude of ways, at forty-five years old, he laid his mess at the foot of the cross, asking Jesus for a fresh start. Praise God, he indeed became a radically changed man. The more he spoke about who he was, the more foreign he felt in the room. This was not the same person.
Jesus does that. Brings to life the soul of a dead man (or woman) walking.
But, in the wake…in the aftermath…after breathing in new life…his former family found his apologies and hopes for a relationship laughable. And, they were downright mad.
We each collect hurts. Some life-altering. Often not self-imposed, but imposed upon us by others’ foolishness, selfishness, stupidity. After a few tough knock-downs, it’s not easy to forgive – especially when the offender demonstrates no remorse.
In the case of my old friend, his sincere sorrow continues to be met with resistance years later. His now-adult children have a firm, fierce grip on their anger and I suspect it’s draining.
Though we don’t have to be in relationship with our personal miscreants – (I know firsthand that parental-inflicted pain divides and separates) – I hope his children release the suffocating burden of anger they still periodically convey.
Their father’s prior trash isn’t theirs to carry.
Most know from experience that hauling a boulder of unforgiveness gets heavy – and other things start to hurt. When people hurt, they act ugly – and the cycle continues.
Most of us are an improved version of who we were in our late teens and early 20s, thank God. Perhaps we acted improper or reckless but didn’t wound others’ hearts. But, the point of sharing this story is to encourage progression – striving for better, evolving as a human being, regardless of past conduct.
Though our versions of “better” differ, we’re all physical, emotional and spiritual people, sharing a collective human experience where our behavior – whether we acknowledge this truth or not – affects others.
Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day.
Tales from a Mid-Lifer 
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