Tales from a Mid-Lifer

If you have been around church a while, you’ve likely heard several sermons encouraging parishioners to “wait upon the Lord”. “Keep waiting with great expectation of what the Lord can do!” the enthusiasm pours down from the pulpit. Wait for the salvation of family members. Wait patiently for the promotion. Wait for your dreams to come true. The last one makes me pray, “Lord, I know 1000 years is like a day to You, but down here, this time thing You created is everything!” (Psalm 90:4; 2Peter 3:8)

In recent years, I’ve overheard people casually mention what they thought they would do in life and how opposite it all turned out. The money was never there for that specific destination trip… they couldn’t swing the mortgage and open that small business… and one said, ‘now I have some time and money but why bother?’ She referenced her age and how the sheer exhaustion from the last 50 years required her remaining time be spent in leisurely activities, no longer considering her lifelong dream of opening a home décor boutique. She grew – literally – tired of waiting for the stars to align.

I had lunch with a former colleague who was an aspiring writer. Ten years my senior, she had plenty of written material but just when she started to send out the agent queries, grandchildren arrived and her daughter needed her to babysit. I heard the sigh.

Deep into our mid-life years, many (not all) begin to reluctantly accept what couldn’t be admitted out loud for decades. The dreams we didn’t or couldn’t pursue in our 20’s have officially been run over by the monster truck of adulting. Is it foolish to still hang on? Should we still hope, plan or even (gasp!) take time to pursue our long-lost goals or interests? Does something else need to stop so we can start working the goal, taking the class, researching the interest?

Some of us reluctantly, silently accept a false belief that what hasn’t yet – never can be – “at this point in life”.

When the kids began kindergarten, we determined to resurrect dreams and accomplish the goals we set BC (before children). We didn’t anticipate that with every new kid-season comes new responsibilities for Mom and Dad. We still had to work, wanted to serve at church, occasionally volunteer at school, all while continuing the everyday life chores.

When those adorable kindergarteners grew into miserable, moody teenagers we declared, “I have to get a life outside of all this!” The 97 practices and 68 games in one season, between three kids (for some of you even more) plus travel sports, left you with enough time to do the dishes at 11pm and zero brain power for creating that business plan, beginning the novel or researching a location for your pizzeria. Years passed.

Fast forward and we label ourselves ‘mid-lifers’ and ‘retirees’, those I’ve spoken with equating these seasons with significant accomplishments being in the rearview. Time-consuming, space-dominating hobbies…meh, why start now? Again, some of us silently accept a false belief that what hasn’t yet – never can be – “at this point in life”.

Without hope for something better, we die inside. If actively pursuing a buried goal or dream would make our life “better”, hope keeps us moving forward, trying again and again. As believers, we of course know this is all temporary and the hope we have rests in eternity with Jesus.

But, we are in the world – not of it – but in it. Fully engaged. Taking time to pursue what God planted inside us long ago is worth checking out while we’re still here. When we take the first step, He makes a way to keep going.

We are in the world – not of it – but in it.

Fully engaged.

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