Tales from a Mid-Lifer

“Look for the humor in the teen years.” The 75-year old former pastor said this as we walked toward the sanctuary for Sunday service.

Find the humor? Does this man still not know me even a little? What could possibly be funny about what I was sharing with him?

“It’s just another quick season of life.” He was minimizing my parenting recount of the past week and tears stung my eyes. I was in it with a teenager who required a daily reminder that me parent and him child, his attitude and sarcasm keeping me locked on my knees. While the minister was retired and well past the pain of parenting teenagers, he made it clear that his kids did “wayyyy worse” and they turned out just fine.

“Fine”? Is he insane?! “Fine” is never the goal. These aren’t just any kids. These are MY kids! I expect better than “fine”. After all, they had parents who provided non-stop family service. Parents who scheduled everything around countless athletic events. My son had zero excuse for sulking and complaining.

I thought to myself, “and this gentleman doesn’t know everything that transpired”. I certainly wasn’t going to detail what ELSE had gone on, we were in church for heaven’s sake! I did, however, indicate that there was more to the story.

His response: “I know you and your son. It’s all good. Teens are merely exhausting at times.”

I shuffled into my Sunday seat, loathing my foolishness. When I brought my children into the world, I determined to model the best behavior possible, assuming that would make even a 15-year old behave all of the time (😄). If I was always respectful, they would be too. I felt like a failure.

As parents, we try to be good examples. However, children have free will and it often takes time for them to put aside the distractions, see the depth of life, and feel the consequences of their actions. We trust that our self-control and moral behavior in their teen years will come to the forefront of their minds later on.

Be still and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10) I pressed this scripture above my office door in black vinyl during the teen years. I needed the daily reminder that my husband and I weren’t parenting alone. Looking back, I see how fortunate we were that my biggest complaint was merely smart-aleck behavior. Point your kids in the right direction-when they’re old they won’t be lost. (Proverbs 22:6 MSG)

That walk into the sanctuary was nearly a dozen years ago. Parenting teens was indeed a short spring season that felt like an unending winter. Teenagers eventually mature, becoming successful, respectful young adults who live good, ethical lives.

I thank God that the sweet man was right. But he was wrong about the humor…I still don’t think that time was very funny. In pastor’s defense, he had a great sense of humor…mine is still a work in progress😉.