Assuming you have seen the movie Titanic at least twelve times, you’ll recall Leonardo DiCaprio’s character Jack Dawson as a happy, lively and engaging young guy. Though attractive, Cal Hockley (Billy Zane) is conversely entitled, arrogant and haughty.
Jack embraces life as indicated in his famous dinner speech:
I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what’s gonna happen or, who I’m gonna meet, where I’m gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people…You learn to take life as it comes at you… to make each day count.
Cal on the other hand yells at his fiancé Rose:
You will honor me!
We can all agree that in recent years, the yelling of “You will honor me!” in various forms, often without merit, is an epidemic. “I may not have read anything related to this topic, but dangit, You will honor me!” “Who cares if my grammar stinks in my emails, you will honor me as the best email writer at this office!”
The point here is honor of opinions without merit (some basic knowledge). Outside of work, we can avoid bias news and people who bellow uneducated views. However, we are stuck with them at work because employers have taken tolerance of “you will honor me!” way too far. It’s unproductive at best and costly at worst to see non-work-related, personal views insert themselves into everything from Teams meetings to Slack messages.
Earlier this year, I observed an out of state meeting when a higher-level, female executive raised her voice, accompanied by mocking laughter of a fellow-female sales rep. The saleswoman had the brilliant idea to run new ads on X (formerly Twitter) because their closest two competitors ceased using X as a political statement. The market was wide-open and the financial gain would be substantial. The saleswoman had hard-statistic forecast charts proving the considerable revenue potential and the company had a multi-hundred-thousand person following on X.
The mocker smugly grinned, announcing that the company she worked for (did not own) would have nothing to do with Elon Musk. She said his name like she knew him personally-she did not. Musk wouldn’t be hurt by this massive company pulling out, but the decision would definitely hurt the quarterly sales (and did). The shareholders would have been appalled…their interest in revenue first, not personal politics.
The HR tolerance of the woman ridiculing her colleague was the most astonishing and brought me to the Titanic.
Cal’s attitude vs. Jack’s.
In many societal arenas, the mockers, scoffers and downright business-stupid are increasingly running the circus. Despite reasonable people attempting to thwart the nonsensical, the Cal’s raise their noses. If we shut down everything with personal bias, how do we communicate? Negotiate? Reach consensus? Remain in relationship?
The scene I witnessed completely diluted the often farcical “women supporting women” campaign of recent years. Man or woman, I’m working toward being like the others at the dining table with Jack and Cal who were enamored by Jack’s speech, inspired by Jack’s openness and appreciation for the very different people surrounding him. Absent personal agenda, open to new experiences and gasp!, alternate ideas.
I have people in my life who lean far left while I’m a strong conservative. I not only “follow/like” but read some left-leaning bloggers. We honestly have some common interests and life experiences. Though we may disagree on foundational issues, we can (and should) check the Cal-haughtiness, avoid leaving the table with our own “type” for cigars and brandy, but remain in the room – engaged in a respectful manner.
Tales from a Mid-Lifer 
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