Tales from a Mid-Lifer

For those who follow this blog, you know I’m more than a year into the empty nest. I discovered this short post I never published and thought I’d share it.

I drove by their high school today. It’s been a DECADE this month since my oldest (twins) graduated high school…

Six years since graduating university…

My ponytail scrunchies are no longer MIA. Scissors are in the junk drawer when I need them. Things are where they belong. The stairs are clear, no piles of laundry to take up.

Sigh…

Why is it unpopular to miss the full nest? Women generally rejoice when it empties, strongly nudging their last one out the door. I haven’t missed the side-eyes of those wondering why it’s been a harder transition for me.

I’ve worked full-time, part-time and stayed at home most while the kids lived under our roof. Hardest job? Home.

I didn’t get paid for those clean toilets and no one left a tip on the table for the food they scarfed down in 12 minutes. Colleagues weren’t milling about the house complimenting my colorful tee-shirt or black yoga pants, telling me I look pretty today.

Being in the full nest can be lonely. But it’s the fullest I’ve ever been.

So, I started doing things I didn’t have time for before.

I finally bought the heirloom quality, outrageously expensive workhorse pots and pans I always dreamed of – I cook far less and hardly use them.

I have way more time to go clothes shopping but it’s not as much fun without my (fashionista) oldest with me.

There are many aspects of empty-nesting I enjoy. Writing, reading, resting, more exercise. But I miss the kids. I miss each of them individually. I miss the collective family life under one roof. I miss the echoes of their voices, the home teeming with life on the daily.

But I can’t have the quiet reading, writing and resting with the former constant action of running to the supermarket because I was inexplicably out of ketchup again – even in the back-up pantry.

Then I needed to be on a ball diamond at 4pm, and a hockey rink at 10pm, followed by a quick house pick-up at midnight…and there’s no proper rest before the alarm goes off at 5:30am.

We kept this pace for years and the slowness is an adjustment. Good – but requires reorienting. Conforming. Turning.

Life is weird. I trust God has His purpose in all seasons. After all, He created our cycles of human existence: little ones, youth, mid-life, old.

Each life phase carries deep meaning, but that truth doesn’t make this time any less strange or uncomfortable.

Thank you for joining me on this final Monday in April. I wish you a safe, healthy and good week ahead!

Bird Images: Mine: Family5Power