Several years ago, I met a former contestant on The Bachelor because my husband worked with him in his day job. During the few years we were acquainted (post show), we attended company and social functions together where I learned more about The Bachelor.
Disclaimer: The closest I’ve come to devoting any earthly time to non-reality-but-pretending to be-reality programming was two Bachelor episodes.
I can’t name a Kardashian other than Kim, nor can I comprehend the longevity of The Kardashians or other shows like Teen Moms. Based merely on the ads I’ve seen, their popularity is concerning.
However… I do understand that sometimes people just want to unwind and watch nonsense under the guise of “real”. I get it.
Not really.
Why would someone sign up for such a demeaning broadcast of oneself in front of the world at large? The two Bachelor episodes I watched with my adult kids made me cringe so bad, I was covering my face with a blanket or offering commentary toward the television. My kids were highly entertained.
Me being literal, I get caught up on the word “reality”. While the dictionary defines it as truth/fact, each scene is carefully staged, the final product selectively edited to enhance drama and promote illusion – not reality.
So why do contestants sign up? The answers I received are exactly what you suspect: they desire modeling and acting contracts and/or general fame. Otherwise normally functioning adults still believe this type of fame brings good things.
You agree to cameras everywhere. Complete seclusion. Zero cell phones for weeks while shooting. No family/friends contact. Secrecy. Said bachelor told us being cast out of daily normalcy affects contestants deeply.
Why volunteer for the show when Bachelor Nation posts this in their requirements? “…revelation of Personal Information and Recordings as defined in these Eligibility Requirements may be embarrassing, unfavorable, humiliating, and/or derogatory and/or may portray him or her in a false light.”
For those of you devoted Bachelor/ette fans, none of this is new to you. For the rest of us, these additional things I learned were further perplexing as to why you’d sign up: your microphone is secured from dawn to when you go to bed. Your contract includes hidden cameras and microphones (in case you thought removing your mic freed you from being viewed/heard).
Women pay for their attire, including the gowns required. ALL weeks of gowns must be brought just in case you make it that far. Required personality test and STD examinations (understandable I guess). Private investigator. And the one that made me laugh out loud: a full psychological evaluation!
When discussing this topic with a friend, she made an excellent point: why am I focusing on the contestants choices, humiliation and embarrassment (even in the so-called ‘good’ scenes, I cringe for them). The average viewer is merely thinking of themselves-it’s just tv night, they care about how the participants will behave in that episode, what juicy disagreements will take place.
My friend was right. I’m an analyzer, unable to find enjoyment or relaxation watching staged content that doesn’t bring out the best in people.
Despite successfully making it to the last couple finalists, the bachelor surprisingly said the experience was terrible. His run was before the books below were published and social media revealed contestant hardships. Perhaps he would have thought twice. He is now happily married with children.
Sources in addition to the bachelor himself: For the Right Reasons: America’s Favorite Bachelor on Faith, Love, Marriage, and Why Nice Guys Finish First. Amy Kaufman. Bachelor Nation.
Featured Image: Source
Tales from a Mid-Lifer 
Comments…